Finding Clarity After Chaos: Why Slowing Down Helps You Move Forward

When life takes an unexpected turn—especially after something traumatic—it’s natural to want to run. To escape the chaos, to throw yourself into something new, anything that feels better than what you’re leaving behind.

I get it. When my marriage ended, all I wanted was to be anywhere but there. But I had three young daughters, and the last thing I could afford was making rash decisions that might hurt them even more.

My gut told me to move fast, to take action. But the truth? I had no idea what that action should be. I knew I couldn’t fill the emptiness with impulse decisions, and I certainly wasn’t going to turn to distractions that could cost me even more—especially my girls.

For the first time, I realized something: maybe I didn’t need a clear direction yet. Instead of rushing headfirst into the next phase of life, I chose to slow down. Not to wait for life to happen to me, but to give myself space to breathe, to reflect, and to truly think.

So, I sat with my thoughts. I asked myself tough questions—not just about my present, but about my future. What really mattered to me? What did I want my life to look like? What was worth carrying forward, and what was just old comfort I had outgrown?

I didn’t focus on revenge, resentment, or regret. Instead, I let go of everything I thought I should do and started imagining what I wanted.

• What did I want my life to look like in one year? Five? Ten?
• What did I regret most, and what did I wish I’d done differently?
• What did I never want to repeat?

You don’t find the answers to these questions by rushing. And you won’t find clarity if you don’t give yourself the space to say no.

So, I did. I said no to distractions, no to unnecessary commitments, no to anything that clouded my ability to think clearly. Months passed. Slowly, the fog lifted. Clarity came—not all at once, but steadily, surely.

By the time I was ready to act, I wasn’t moving from a place of fear or panic. I wasn’t backtracking or undoing hasty mistakes. I had already laid the groundwork, and I was able to move forward with confidence.

If you’re in that place of panic, desperate for an escape, I encourage you: pause. Ground yourself. Don’t rush into the next chapter before you know what you want from it.

Ask the hard questions. Sit with them. Do the work.

Because when you take the time to understand what truly matters to you, your next steps—whether simplifying your life, leaving a toxic situation, or stepping into your future—become so much clearer. And that clarity? It’ll take you exactly where you’re meant to go—faster than you ever thought possible.