How to Handle a Bad Day Without Making It Worse

We all wake up with a sense of how the day will go—whether it’s going to be a great day, a tough day, or just an “ugh” day. I’m not sure what to call it—intuition, energy, gut instinct—but whatever it is, we all feel it.

Great days are easy. We’re laughing, getting things done, and enjoying whatever comes our way. But what about the days that feel like we’re trudging uphill, carrying a heavy bag of rocks for people who don’t even appreciate the effort?

I used to handle those tough days by trying to force a turnaround—adjusting my schedule, snapping at those around me, or convincing myself that if just one little thing changed, everything would magically improve. Maybe if my kids emptied the dishwasher without being asked, my uphill battle would suddenly turn into a smooth downhill coast. Maybe that heavy bag of rocks would transform into something lighter, like a bag of feathers.

But deep down, I knew that wasn’t going to happen. The truth is, when you’re in the thick of a tough day, it’s hard to see how unrealistic those expectations are.

So, I started coaching myself through it. I’d ask: How much of this is actually real, and how much of it am I making worse in my head? Sure, I didn’t invent the dentist appointment or the traffic jam—but was I amplifying everything else? Most of the time, the answer was yes.

And then, something crucial clicked:

If I wake up feeling like my day is a 1 out of 10, my goal isn’t to turn it into a 10. That’s just not realistic. It’s okay to have an off day. Instead of forcing perfection, I focus on nudging that 1 up to a 2 or a 3. If I’m at a 4, maybe I can push it to a 5.

Going from miserable to amazing in one leap is nearly impossible—short of winning the Powerball or having a team of housekeepers show up at my door with a “Grand Prize: Full Home Cleaning!” banner. (And even then, I’d probably still have something else on my plate that a mop and vacuum couldn’t fix.)

So, I take bite-sized steps. I adjust my attitude where I can.

We’ve all seen the Pinterest phrase: “I have to go to work” → “I get to go to work.” It’s popular for a reason. What if you didn’t have a job? Perspective matters. A lot of the things we dread in a day are temporary. Time moves on. What feels overwhelming now won’t feel the same tomorrow.

The goal on rough days isn’t perfection—it’s damage control.

Here’s the plan:

• Don’t scream at your family.
• Don’t honk at that idiot driver.
• Don’t ram your shopping cart into someone’s knees just because they’re blocking the aisle. (Slow down, Rita. Breathe.)

Instead, work with the energy you have. On low-energy days, my to-do list turns into a “to-don’t” list. I avoid starting big projects or trying new things. Instead, I prep. If I want to try a new recipe, I gather the ingredients today and cook tomorrow. If I need to paint a room, I organize the supplies but hold off on the actual painting. Forward progress, just in smaller steps.

And here’s the kicker—positivity doesn’t mean forcing happiness. It means allowing rough days to exist and reacting in a way that doesn’t make them worse.

Sometimes, the most positive thing you can do is simply not react. Don’t fire off that angry text or slam the cabinet doors. Instead, sit still and remind yourself that it’s okay. Smile. Give a hug. Slow down.

Because these days will pass—whether we fight them or flow with them. And if we handle them right, they won’t leave a mess behind for us to clean up later.