Why Doing Things by Yourself Might Be the Best Gift You Give Yourself

It is incredibly important to learn how to do things on your own, especially if you’re planning to travel, live on the road, or embrace any kind of independent lifestyle. When you’re at home, solitude often feels safe and cozy. It’s easy to settle into the couch with Netflix or curl up with a book and call that “alone time.” Maybe you take a long bath or tidy the house in silence. That quiet time often becomes your healing space, where you decompress after work, errands, or even a big social gathering.

But being alone and feeling lonely are not the same thing. And when those lines start to blur, it can mess with your head. I’ve had many moments where I deeply craved solitude, only to find myself restless, bored, and uncomfortable in it once I had it. That boredom can feel just as overwhelming as being stuck in a noisy crowd.

There’s also a long-standing stigma around doing things alone, going out to dinner, seeing a movie, or attending an event by yourself. When I was in court reporting school, I had about a three-hour window between my classes and work. Home was too far to go back to, so if I didn’t have errands or homework, I’d walk to the nearby movie theater and treat myself to a show. Alone.

When people found out I went to the movies solo, their reactions were often shocked or pitying. Isn’t that dangerous? Isn’t that embarrassing? I could never do that. They couldn’t imagine doing something fun without a companion. And yet, I had friends and family who would sit home bored out of their minds simply because they didn’t have anyone to go with.

The truth is: doing things alone has been incredibly freeing for me. It’s opened up experiences I never would have had if I’d waited around for a plus-one. Sure, there are times I wish I could have shared a moment with someone else. But it was still a moment. It still mattered. And sometimes it was better solo, because I could stay longer, leave early, sit where I wanted, or shift my plans without checking in with anyone.

When I’m on my own, I don’t have to second-guess if someone else is having a good time or if they want to leave or change the plan. I can be fully present in the experience. That has made me stronger. It’s helped me get clearer on what I enjoy and how I want to live. And interestingly, when I’m alone, I find people are more likely to approach me, not in a creepy way, but kindly, humanly. I’m more approachable, more open.

Of course, it’s not all sunshine and self-growth. One of the harder parts of solo outings is not having someone to share the experience with afterward. Watching a moving film or going to a thought-provoking event is amazing, but sometimes you really do want to talk about it. And when you’re the only one who was there, it can feel a little incomplete.

There’s also safety to consider. I’ll hike alone, but I don’t venture onto remote, isolated trails. If I know the path is well-traveled and there’s a decent flow of people, I’ll go. But I’m always mindful of injury, or worse—what if something happened and no one was around to help? That’s the kind of risk I won’t take lightly.

If you’re home and not traveling yet, I really encourage you to exercise that solitude muscle. Try little things—go to a movie, sit at a café, walk a new trail. Get used to the rhythm of your own company. Because once you’re out on the road, you can’t always count on a fellow nomad to cross your path. Build that self-trust now, while you’ve got the comfort of home to return to.

And if you already do everything alone and find yourself using it as a shield to avoid people, that’s worth looking into too. I’ve been there. I’ve used solitude to hide. But when I dug deeper, I found old stuff that needed healing. Once I worked through it, I actually started enjoying community again. Being part of a group can be beautiful when it’s the right group.So whether you’re learning to be alone for the first time or just starting to ask why you spend so much time solo, know this: choosing to do something alone can be one of the bravest and most rewarding steps you take. It doesn’t mean you’re lonely. It means you’re living. On your terms.