When Your Dream Is Optional: The Apathy Trap
Feeling stuck or unmotivated even though you want to hit the road? Apathy sneaks in when the dream feels optional,but a few tiny, consistent actions can reignite your momentum and keep you moving toward the life you crave.
You say you want to hit the road.
You dream of the woods, the quiet mornings, the freedom of driving wherever you want, whenever you want. You scroll past tiny campers and converted vans and think, That could be me. You picture a rig built just for you, simple, functional, beautiful. Maybe you’ve even started mapping out your route or collecting gear.
But then, somewhere along the way, you stop.
You don’t mean to. It just… happens. You stop dreaming out loud. You stop searching listings. You stop saving up. You get tired, distracted, overwhelmed. And without even noticing, you slip into apathy.
This is the trap I see again and again. Women with big hearts, big plans, and beautiful dreams just… stall. They’re not failing. They’re not struggling. But they’re not creating momentum either. They’ve slipped into a soft, sneaky kind of indifference.
And because no one is demanding this dream from you, because no one needs you to get in that van and go, you don’t notice what you’ve given up.
What is Apathy?
Let’s call it what it is: a lack of concern. Not because you don’t care, but because it feels safer not to.
You get excited about this new chapter. You start gathering ideas, learning, maybe even buying a few things for the road. And then something feels hard. Something requires effort, or change, or courage.
And instead of facing it, you think: Screw it. It’s a dumb idea. Maybe later. I probably can’t do it.
So you back off. You numb out. You distract yourself. You say it’s too expensive, too complicated, too late. You buffer. You binge-watch. You scroll. You keep living a life you don’t hate… but it’s not the one you truly want.
And then you circle back. Months later, you feel the sting of regret. You think: Why didn’t I just keep going? Why did I give up on myself?
It’s not laziness. It’s not lack of time. It’s that your dream is optional—and that makes it easier to ignore.
Your Survival Doesn’t Depend on This
We evolved to survive. And once our basic needs are met, most of us stop pushing. If you’ve got a roof over your head, food in your fridge, and a to-do list long enough to justify inertia, you can technically go on like this forever.
And that’s the problem.
The life you’re craving, the road, the rig, the forest mornings and open sky, it’s not going to come find you. It’s not required for survival. It’s required for living. And those are two very different things.
Dreams Without Deadlines Drift
If you’re not actively creating this life for yourself, you’re slowly slipping into apathy.
Ask yourself:
- What have I done in the past six months to get closer to life on the road?
- What risks have I taken?
- What have I built, learned, or changed for me?
Consuming content about vanlife isn’t the same as stepping into it. Watching, planning, dreaming, they’re cozy. But they don’t count unless you take real-world action. Unless you build something. Buy something. Move something. Say yes to something.
You might be riding the momentum of your current life, never quite stopping, but never really choosing where you’re going either.
Apathy Feels Safe… But It’s Not Kind
You think you’re protecting yourself from disappointment, from failure, from risk. But what you’re really doing is neglecting the deepest part of yourself. (BOOM)
Neglect is quiet. It doesn’t scream. It just hums in the background while the years slip by.
The truth? The opposite of love isn’t hate. It’s indifference.
When you love yourself, you risk for yourself. You build for yourself. You make space for the life you want.
When you’re indifferent to yourself, you stay on the couch. You stay in the same place. You put your dreams back in the drawer and hope they don’t bother you too much.
But they will. They always do.
So Here’s the Deal
You don’t have to build your rig.
You don’t have to hit the road.
You can absolutely survive without ever doing either of those things.
But if you’ve read this far, you probably won’t feel alive until you do.
So let’s stop letting apathy steal years of our lives. Let’s stop confusing comfort with fulfillment. Let’s stop waiting for the perfect moment to care about what we want.
Let’s take the wheel.
Let’s make movement.
Let’s choose the life we actually want, before we convince ourselves we never really wanted it anyway.
When your dream starts to feel optional and apathy creeps in, these tiny, truly doable tips can help you keep moving. They’re so small they won’t trigger overwhelm—but they will keep the wheels turning.
1. Set a 5-Minute Timer and Touch Your Dream
Spend exactly five minutes doing anything related to your road life dream. Examples:
- Look at rigs on Facebook Marketplace.
- Sketch your ideal floor plan on scrap paper.
- Google “boondocking near me.”
- Write a list of places you want to visit.
This makes the dream tangible again, even if you’re not ready to take big action yet.
2. Create a “Visible Reminder” Zone
Put one item where you’ll see it daily—a camp mug, your favorite travel hat, a photo of a place you want to go. This gently says: Hey, remember that dream? She’s still here.
3. Build a Done List, Not a To-Do List
At the end of each day or week, jot down what you actually did that nudged your dream forward, even in a tiny way:
- “Watched a YouTube tour for inspiration”
- “Researched lithium batteries”
- “Told my sister I’m serious about traveling someday”
Momentum loves acknowledgment.
4. Choose a Tiny Habit Anchor
Attach a 30-second habit to something you already do:
“After I brush my teeth at night, I’ll open my travel planning notes for 30 seconds.”
You might only glance at your dream, but it keeps the fire warm.
5. Celebrate Micro-Wins Like They’re Major
Treat small steps like big deals. Seriously.
- Text a friend: “I finally measured the van—go me!”
- Post in a group: “Today I Googled solar basics!”
Celebration feeds consistency. It’s not silly—it’s survival for your goals.
6. Ask “What’s the next small thing?”—Not the whole thing
Don’t ask “How do I build a rig and quit my job and start traveling?”
Ask:
“What’s one tiny thing I can do this week to move closer?”
Then only do that.
7. Designate a Weekly Dream Date
Once a week, sit down for 20 minutes and only do something that makes you feel closer to the road. Protect that time like it’s a real date with your future self.
8. Borrow Someone Else’s Belief
If you’re losing faith in yourself, borrow mine:
You are absolutely capable of building this life.
You don’t need to go fast.
You just need to keep going.
Your dream might be optional, but your life is not. Keep showing up, one small action at a time, and watch how momentum builds.
