When You Leave, They Stay: Understanding the Emotions of Those Left Behind

Making the Decision to Travel

Making the decision to travel—whether solo or with others—often requires us to leave people and things behind.
For many of us, traveling solo becomes the path we take when our spouse or partner doesn’t share the same goals.
This journey can mean saying goodbye to friends, family, coworkers, and neighbors, and in some cases, even pets or farm animals we’ve cared for.

As we struggle with the decision to hit the road, we can’t ignore the reality that we’ll be leaving behind family, acquaintances, and friends.
It’s a tough choice, and while we may wrestle with missing birthdays or holiday celebrations, it’s ultimately a decision we get to make.
Despite the challenges, we find empowerment in knowing that the choice is ours.

In the midst of making this decision, we often forget that others are also affected.
While they may understand our choice and wish us well on our journey, they still have to cope with our absence.
Despite any complaints or well wishes, they don’t have a say in the matter, and it’s something they must navigate alongside us.

Let’s take a deeper look at how they might feel about our decision, how they’re really processing the news (even if their words say otherwise), and how we can best handle the situation.

1. Emotional Reactions of Feeling Abandoned or Rejected

They Feel Abandoned

• Feeling Left Behind
  They think they are stuck in one place, while you’re off exploring, possibly missing out on something meaningful.
  
• Guilt for Not Joining You
  They may feel guilty for not taking the leap alongside you.
  
• Loneliness
  Your absence can create a void, especially if you were a key emotional support or companion.
  
• Feeling Left Out of Your New Life
  As you grow and change, they may question where they fit into your new world.
  
• Worrying About Their Own Stability
  Without your presence, they may feel pressure to step up emotionally or practically.
  
• Regret for Unspoken Words or Missed Moments
  They wish they had said more, done more, or made the most of time before you left.
  

2. Misunderstandings and Perceptions of Your Choice

They May Feel Slighted

• We are not worthy of their company, so they leave without us.
  They may feel rejected, as though your departure is a judgment on their worth.
  
• We are not loved enough to be staying back home.
  They might interpret your leaving as a lack of care or affection.
  
• They must be searching for something they are not finding here.
  They may feel that what they represent—home, community, or familiarity—isn’t enough for you.
  

3. Reactions Rooted in Fear, Confusion, or Concern

They May Think We’ve Lost Our Mind

• They have really lost their mind and this is a crazy thing they’ve decided to do.
  Concern or disbelief may drive their reaction, especially if they see your decision as impulsive or risky.
  
• I just don’t know who they are anymore. I don’t know if I can relate to who they’ve become.
  They may fear you’ve changed in ways they can’t understand or connect with.
  

Confusion or Concern

• They may not fully understand your decision and feel anxiety about your safety, well-being, or the unknowns of your journey.
  

Resentment or Bitterness

• Some may harbor unspoken feelings of hurt or abandonment, even if they try to mask it, feeling left behind or rejected.
  

4. Projected Emotions and Defensive Reactions

They Push Us Away Because of Their Uncomfortableness

• I am so jealous that they get to do this, and I can’t. I’m not sure if I can watch them enjoying themselves.
  Jealousy can make it hard for them to be supportive, even if they want to be.
  
• They don’t know how to cope if they cannot have you around steadily in their life.
  Your steady presence may have been a source of comfort, and they fear its loss.
  
• They have always done so much for me, and now I don’t know what I am going to do without them.
  They may feel abandoned and unsure how to function without your support.
  

Fear of Losing ConnectionThey fear that without regular contact, your bond will weaken—so they distance themselves first to soften the blow.